It began several years back. The obsession started by suggestion.
I've forever had the idea of programming or engineering or something containing a technical skill set that would emerge from within spawn hours and days and months of similarly obsessive studying and blossom into a fruitful and concise and measured plan of action for the foreseeable future.
My experience has been anything but measured. For long periods I've wavered into apathy putting aside the entire idea. For long seasons I've wandered the internets seeking out the ONE PATH. The avenue to which all other paths and futures bow down. The journey which by undertaking will affirm success and by traversing will constantly renew my spirit and resolve.
I embarked upon the grand highway back in 2012. I wrote with fervor and possibility.
I'm now at another beginning though I've been here for a couple years already.
But I've gone further to expand my interest to broaden the highway to enlarge the scope of my indecision.
Calculus I-IV Physics I-II Chemistry I-II Diff/Eq Linear Algebra Engineering Mechanics I-II. Having obtained a taste of the scope of possibility I broke down the door leading to a perpetual interstate of overlapping ideas frameworks and options.
I stuck myself on an eternal cloverleaf. I've been very busy but not very purposeful.
I'd insert a resolution here but it is as yet unformed and if previous precedent can be trusted it would only serve as bedrock to a tangled version of the original idea.
Fret not though. I do know the pang of regret birthed from a lack of goals. I'll say this. My latest investigations have brought me to the doorsteps of a C++ Developer series at Lynda. They've brought me to the gates of the EE and MSBA programs at UTK.
Full time schooling is hard to imagine on top of work and family (the order of importance of which is in complete reverse). Time being a finite devil I hope that more is revealed and that within the revealing comes the clarity and/or purpose that has eluded me.
Two truths war within me.
I strive to pick more purposefully to dwell more carefully and to live more fully.